Over the course of a few weeks, I have experienced
a handful of things that have allowed me to
"lift the tent flap" to get a glimpse of what
it may feel like when the Atonement of Christ is in full effect
in my life. When there at the Bar, my sins and failings and
sorrows and burdens are compensated for.
This post will attempt to describe those events
and share the intensity of those feelings.
But first, just a heads-up: there is a hint of Autumn in our air!
Experience One has to do with a situation where it was deemed
necessary to more actively express our commitment to
the prudent counting of participants. We are trying to more appropriately
use the 'sacred funds' of the mission at our various missionary meeting
venues where a midday meal is prepared and served.
(NOTE at two venues, people are 'called' to help with this.)
While this is a mission-wide concern, the location where
the ripple effect occurred that brought about the need for
redemption was here where this chapel foyer window (below)
looks out at a very verdant scene.
I include it to represent what happened.
Feelings were hurt, and I'm sure it appeared that 'new comers'
did not understand the long-established routine
nor appreciate the extensive history of personal service.
A tacit resignation was tendered, and the extra work devolved
to the Mission Office staff, and specifically to me as coordinator.
Feelings of regret were expressed by us and effusive apologies given.
Following a few-days' delay that included mental hand-wringing,
I received electronic word that the resignation had been 'reversed'.
I was suitably elated, and, expressed gratitude
to Heaven and to others, and my spirits were raised with
a prospect of lightened load, and forgiveness granted,
status quo re-instated.
laundry room. In our regular course, the laundry was put into
the commercial washer, and then into the dryer.
When the clothes were removed, nearly everything that
had been in that batch had reddish, waxy stains as shown below
on my night gown. My heart sank, and I desperately scrubbed
by hand and with every conceivable detergent product I had
that would not have guaranteed even worse damage if used.
Some stains seemed to improve, while others did not.
As the final intensive washing step, I decided to try to run things
once more through the machines to see if marks would come out.
I selected the OTHER dryer, assuming the problem was
from the one I had used first.
To our horror, there were MORE stains.
Many of the things that were ruined simply had to be thrown away.
I wish this situation had a happy ending. Mostly it does not.
EXPERIENCE THREE bridges activities across two days.
Late (for us) one evening following a Zone Conference,
feeling very tired as usual, but hoping to get something done
that needed to be "checked off" soon,
I sat down at my laptop to upload, edit photos, and
make a post onto the Mission FB page.
Being somewhat bleary-eyed, I opened the photos series
in my design program by mistake, and not in Photoshop.
Dismayed at the time it would take to close each photo
along the queue line at the top of my screen, I thought
it would be faster to simply close the folders/jobs and exit
that program entirely. I clicked through the "caution" screens in
the usual manner, and didn't think anything of it.
The next morning, squeezing in my shortened-to-30-minutes
creative period before preparing to get into the office,
I attempted to open my 'active' project file in Illustrator.
My intense panic started high and simply soared upward:
there was NO mother file folder on my Desktop screen.
It simply was NOT there. I hunted. I closed and reopened things.
I restarted the computer. I prayed aloud. I searched mentally
for ways to solve this. I formulated question lines to search
in Google. I wondered if my son Riley could help -
and would he be awake at 5:30 a.m. ET?
* * * * *
I'd like to say that my desperation was quelled when I thought
about praying, but I remained in scramble mode.
My final idea was to absolutely look "behind" each of the icon folders
on my home screen, though I'd never tried this and
it made no sense to think it might work.
One Folder that had been pre-loaded when I first turned on
my newly-purchased laptop was labeled 'Apple',
and I clicked it open.
There without any logic, was a two-item list of contents.
The top one was my 'Digital Design Projects' sub-folder.
Still grasping at straws, but with no logical reason for hope,
I clicked it open. There flowed my long list of 2018-19 past
and current projects and designs.
I had FOUND what had been lost!
It is practically impossible to explain that feeling of
coming 'back to life' that flooded into my heart and mind
at that moment. I think I actually shed tears of gratitude.
Later, as I shared what had happened and how I had felt --
in the 'before' and in the 'after' -- to my companion,
into my mind wandered the word "exquisite" to describe
the intensity. Of course, that word comes from Alma, who
in chapter 36 verse 21 wrote "there could be nothing so
exquisite and so bitter as were my pains" . . [and] . . .
"on the other hand, there can be nothing so exquisite
and sweet as was my joy."
Never sure I love learning HARD lessons.
But it is obvious that I needed to increase my understanding
of what it will feel like to be redeemed.
Just like the promise of sunrise through these Goffstown trees,
I know through faith that my Redeemer can do this for me.
My lamp has been filled through these chances
to feel what it will be like to have
that salvation offered by Jesus Christ
come to me personally!
to feel what it will be like to have
that salvation offered by Jesus Christ
come to me personally!
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